5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
