3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
