people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
