Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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