i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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