apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
