He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
