i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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