He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
