if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize