She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Terrible idea I love it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My vagina is very pro this idea
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize