can we get nightvision for the apartment?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
