I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Alive.
So much puke
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
