Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We are two peas in an std pod
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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