Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
