I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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