just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
me + whiskey = a bad person
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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