I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
