i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
