But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
