i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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