apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
