Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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