I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
