genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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