I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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