i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
