your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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