Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize