we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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