he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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