FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
