So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
