My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
