You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
