then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
