Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
