I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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