he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
