I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
