The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Actions speak louder than pants.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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