Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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