I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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