Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
