it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
