i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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