To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
