idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
