hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
