I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
