Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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