somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
