i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize