first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i already hear my dad disowning me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
