Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
