Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
