I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
