Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
