It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize