dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Still dying that you shit outside
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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