i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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