We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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