I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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