my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
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