we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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