We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i think my cat just said my name.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
